12 Steps: Michalek’s Anonymous


Repeat after me…My name is _____ and I’m a Michalek.

Now that you’re an official member of MA, here is the twelve step program:

1: We admitted we were powerless over Michalek’s speed — that without him everything looks slow by comparison.
2: Came to believe that someone not named Alfie could restore us to sanity. 
3: Made a decision to turn our will and our fandom over to the care of Milan as we understood him.
4: Made a searching and fearless inventory of how good this team’s roster could actually be.
5: Admitted to Milan, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. (Admitting that at the time, you thought Milan + Cheechoo + 2nd rounder wasn’t equal value for Heatley.)
6: Were entirely ready to have Milan remove all these defects of character. (Do best Wayne’s World imitation. We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy. We’re scum.)
7: Humbly asked Milan to remove our shortcomings and fix our power play.
8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Except for Steve Downie. He can promptly go fuck himself.
9: Made direct amends Use the threat of violence to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. and thank Matt Carkner when he’s done with them.
10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Karlsson was -1 in a 7-1 win. Ship him out!
11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Milan, as we understood him, praying only that our spawn will someday share his rare blend of size, skill and speed. 
12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to as many Sens fans as possible, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.