Dear Dany

Written by Nichols

Saturday, 27 June 2009 14:58

“I’ve asked him (Heatley) to stay calm,” said Barry. “I know that Bryan is working hard and it’s going to be a process before July 1. We’re just waiting for Bryan to give us news.” ~ Dany Heatley's agent, JP Barry via The Ottawa Sun

So here I am, back from Montreal and slightly hungover. What better way to channel my waning drunkenness than to pen an open letter to our favorite adopted son, Dominant Dany Heatley.

Dear Heater,

Okay, so the NHL Entry Draft came and went and despite some unfounded trade rumors, you're still around. I'm sure you're as thrilled about this as I am. Actually, I know you're upset. We know this because your representatives leak inside information like they're a CTU mole on 24. The ironic thing is, you have no one to blame but yourself and your representatives for the way that this has been handled.

I want you to read this next part very slowly and deliberately Dany. Just take your time, there's no rush. Ready? Okay, I'm going to lay it out there -- because of the publicity of your trade request has put yourself and the organization in this difficult predicament.

I can understand that this idea is a bit lost on you because you're Dany Heatley, a numbers guy. You assume your name is only synonymous with 50 goals. Well, here's the sad news Dany. Where once was a hockey player, now sits a princess.

Through the globalization of the media, no player has the luxury of being in a personal bubble. Your flaws and character are no longer exclusively known by the local media. So given the candidness of your agent, everyone in the hockey industry is underwhelmed by your attitude.

How bad have things gotten for your reputation?

The New York Post's, Larry Brooks, Bryan Murray's asking price -- two NHL ready players and a top pick -- was too high. To quote him, "Ottawa's demands were delusional" in asking for Mark Staal as part of any package. Instead, he thinks a deal involving Nik Zherdev and Michal "Fucking" Rosival is of equal value. Think about that for a second. You're worth an enigmatic scorer and a fucking salary dump. (But don't worry Dany, I agree with you on this one. To borrow some famous words from John Tortorella, "Fuck off Larry.")

Hilariously, Bryan Murray doesn't even have the time to negotiate a trade right now. (Which hopefully bodes well for a July 1st free agent acquisition or two.) The point is, some teams don't think your production is worth risk and all you've done is request a trade. The hockey media has done a fantastic job assassinating your character. You've been called everything from a cancer to a selfish suck-hole. And why? Because we're still left with the suggestion that you have beef with Cory Clouston. Even though your production went up and the team won more under Clouston, we're left to believe that you're disappointed with your relegation to the second power play unit. I know you're good at math Dany. If you can tell that your ice-time has diminished, then even you can admit that this shit just doesn't add up.

And it's not your contract Dany. Despite the media misleadingly referring to the front-loaded portion of your upcoming salary as a signing bonus, even Bryan admits that the money isn't a problem.

“I watch other contracts get traded,” said Murray. “I believe it’s possible. It’s not so much the contract that’s in play here. It’s a calibre of player. I’ve got to protect the organization.” ~ The Ottawa Sun

And he's right. If Chris Pronger can land the Ducks Sbisa, Lupul and two first round picks, then Ottawa must be able to get something of value for you.

So what to do?

It's time Dany, you have to face the music. While your agents are busy trying to structure a trade for you, suck it up and address the media. Apologize and own it or place the blame on some personal matter, I don't care. The truth is, if you're going to dispel the notion that you don't work, you might as well start this offseason. If you're not going to do it for the organization, be the selfish prick that you are and do it for your own sake. We'll be waiting...

Thanks,
Graeme Nichols
The 6th Sens