No Spiritual Surrender: Tim Talks Dany with a Mormon

I was reading a favourite baseball website of mine when I saw one of those flashy ads that offered real time advice and answers to all of life’s questions. I have questions like everyone else in Ottawa. I’ve read a lot about Dany this summer from a lot of different place and I realized I had never sought the advice of a Mormon. I knew that I must seek spiritual guidance after seeing this ad. My Mormon chatline was the last place I could go for help. I was desperate and found my Mormon disciple to be quite helpful, although at times unrealistsic (ie. how am I supposed to come up with Dany’s facebook or cell number?) Below is an exact transcript of the conversation I had with Chandler. I think we could all take some lessons from Chandler.

You are speaking live with Chandler, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Chandler:
Hey how can i help you?

Timothy:
Hey how are you Chandler?

Chandler:
I’m doing really good, how about you timothy?

Timothy:
I’m doing okay, just enjoying a quiet evening in Ottawa

Timothy:
I have a bit of strange question for you, it’s not about me, but this guy I know

Chandler:
Oh sounds awesome! It’s been quite rainy down here in Utah today. What’s the question?

Timothy:
There is this guy named Dany, his last name isn’t important and a lot of people have been saying some really terrible things about him. Even sometimes I find myself partaking in the bashing. It’s so easy and everyone is doing it, I’m not very strong.

Chandler:
ok, what about Dany can i help you with/

Chandler:
?

Timothy:
Well, he hasn’t exactly been a great ‘community’ guy and a lot of people are very upset about this. I was wondering what your Church could suggest to help me out and help us make things okay again.

Chandler:
Well Timothy, I’m not really getting a really good grasp on what you need. From what i understand, Dany just isn’t that great of guy and not very nice to other people, and you’re just wondering what we would suggest to help him out?

Timothy:
Yes Chandler, that’s what I’m looking for, just how to handle a difficult person.

Chandler:
Timothy i struggle with this problem a lot. I find myself looking at people a lot and judging them for things I don’t like about them. What’s important we remember is that we’re all God’s children and he loves every single one of us the same.

Chandler:
I would suggest sitting down with him

Chandler:
Talking to him and seeing what’s going on in his life

Chandler:
Be someone he can go to

Chandler:
As you do that you’ll see the good traits about him and you’ll start to look at him differently and you’ll have a strong desire to help him

Timothy:
It’s hard though with him Chandler, he’s so quiet and keeps his emotions close! This makes it worse because then sometimes people make up things about him because they don’t know any better. He doesn’t talk and it’s like – “C’mon Dany just say something already”. Like is he a talented mute like the guy in The Who’s ‘Tommy’?

Chandler:
When people make fun of him, stand up for him. And DON’T participate in it. It’s really unkind and something that is hurtful to Dany. I’m sure you wouldn’t say those things to his face so it’s even more hurtful behind their back.

Timothy:
He is much bigger than me and only one neighborhood boy named Brennan will say things like that to his face. I would never have the guts.

Chandler:
Maybe just go up to him and say “hey dany, how are you doing today?”

Chandler:
Simple things like that can make the biggest difference!

Chandler:
Don’t conform to what other people are doing and make fun of him, stand up for what’s right and treat him as a friend.

Timothy:
I know this is not Catholic confession, but I have said some bad things behind his back. It’s kind of hard for me to talk to him, even though at one point I worshiped him (not in a spiritual sense, but I admired him for his abilities).

Chandler:
Well if you once treated him horribly and now are looking to help him, there’s no better way to help him then to get to know him! find out the truth and don’t base your opinion of him off rumors and crude jokes.

Chandler:
Get to know him and i know you’ll start to see those traits in him you used to admire!

Timothy:
I just worry that the truth will never come out. I worry that the sands of time will wash away the truth.

Chandler:
Timothy, I have a really good friend named Brent. He moved into my neighborhood and i thought he was just weird, he dressed differently and was out of my comfort zone. But my grandmother urged me to get to know him. Before i made fun, to get to know what

Chandler:
i was makin fun of

Chandler:
I got to know him, we ended playing sports together all through school. Roomed together at college. And was have become pretty much brothers.

Timothy:
Did you go to BYU?

Chandler:
He’s still given a hard time today because he’s shy and doesn’t like to talk, but when you stand up for righteousness and just be someone’s friend, it can make the world of difference and you can gain so much experience!

Chandler:
I did

Timothy:
haha no surprise there, I guess

Timothy:
You raise good points Brent. Sometimes playing sports with people make things okay but a lot of people who say bad things about Dany don’t play sports with him either.

Chandler:
I know that if you just get to know Dany, take the time to ask how his day is going or what’s new in his life, slowly he’ll trust you and talk to you more.

Chandler:
He’ll want to talk to you and your relationship with him will grow. Everyone can do this.

Timothy:
Problem is, he just moved away and i’m not sure if i’ll ever be able to make amends

Timothy:
Just a history me and my friends and the community will have to deal with, which none of us are proud of. I hope my kids never find out about the Dany Days of Summer..

Chandler:
Text him, e mail, call, Facebook, no matter where somebody is we have means of communication for the most part. If you truly want to make amends with him, i’m sure there is a way.

Timothy:
I don’t know…he spent the summer in Kelowna, in B.C., and never called a single person except for Stacey and J.P. (people don’t like them either).

Timothy:
Although I think my window is closed, I will take this lessons forward with me. The next time I encounter a situation like this, I may treat it differently

Chandler:
I hope you do Timothy, by applying those principles instead of judging first, i’ve made some lifelong friends

Chandler:
You can too

Timothy:
Thank you very much or your help today Chandler, I was a little nervous about trying this, but I appreciate your advice and hope others seek it too

Timothy:
The internet sure is a crazy place these days!

Timothy:
Take care Chandler!

 

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