Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


There was this burgeoning vein of thought that as the Senators were poised to miss the postseason for the first time in ages, we, as fans, would suffer miserably in their absence. Well, they were right…sort of.

Watching the playoffs, sans Ottawa, hasn’t been a problem. Lately, I’ve enjoyed watching it without any necessary stress. While it may suck that some former Sens are enjoying some mild success, I feel like I’m over it. Who cares that the Big Z is laying the body more than an inmate at the San Quentin prison? I’ve even stopped caring that the Machiavellian Peter Chiarelli back-doored Chara out of town by obviously getting Muckler drunk and convincing him that Redden was the prototype for the new NHL.

But why am I so unhappy if watching playoff hockey — sans les Senateurs — has been entertaining?

It’s not the hockey, it’s the lack of news surrounding the team. Let’s get these playoffs over with. The offseason just can’t start soon enough for me.

When Sens fans are bored enough to inspire a forum thread shitting on Greg Carvel, things are too slow for the Smarmy Sens Army.

Not even the mainstream media has any interesting news concerning the team.

Jarkko Ruutu’s one of the dirtiest players in the NHL as judged by his peers? Yawn. The guy’s not even the dirtiest guy on his own team. (Allegedly.)

Not even Scott Cullen’s Off-Season Game Plan: Ottawa, is sufficient for me. Secondary scoring and the lack of an elite defenseman are areas of concern. However, the names Cullen drops — Tanguay, Kovalev, Sykora, Sullivan — as options are unlikely to come here. In fact, he might be aiming pretty high. Ottawa’s track record for attracting unrestricted free agents at below-market value is virtually non-existent. (Edit: That’s not true, Dominik Hasek did sign here on the cheap. It worked out really well too.) If I had to make a wager, I’d say that Ottawa’s offseason is likely going to mirror Parliament’s (the bar, not the Feds) decision to bring in Brody Jenner for an appearance. You know, by overpaying to bring in a “name” who’s likely to be insignificant one to two years from now.

I guess if there’s a silver lining to the lack of content, it’s that I’ve gone back and looked through vintage Senators material. Tonight for example, I’ve been busy flipping through the 1992 Entry Draft program that my dad picked up when he took the train with a bunch of other season’s ticket holders to Montreal to take in the draft. It’s pretty interesting to flip through the pages and read up on the scouting reports from draft picks of lore like Chad Penney and Radek Hamr. While the reports failed to indicate that Penney would get fat or that Hamr just flat out sucked, they did offer this brilliant analysis of Alexei Yashin:

Junior World champion, played on Russian national B-team, a regular on Moscow Dynamo. Powerful skater. Good selection of shots, smart around the net. Uses speed to take advantage of opportunities. Shoots without having to set up. Productive scorer with good, fast hands. Uses size and strength to control the puck. Good at beating the man one-on-one. Plays a finesse game with authority. Good under pressure. Never stops trying. Smart and clever.

Too funny. The only things missing from his bio, were Agent’s a dick and he might renege on a charitable donation.

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