With the Olympic break now upon us, we at The 6th Sens figured that it’d be an opportune time to placate you readers with some lists. Here’s the first of a few lists that we’ll be throwing up on the website over the course of the next two weeks. Hope you enjoy.
Without further ado…
Check out his complete lack of sideburns. When he received this haircut, I bet Boschman’s one-sided conversation went down something like this, “Listen. I cannot make this any more clear. Absolutely under no circumstances should you give me sideburns. None. Don’t even the fans an opportunity to assume that I have any. They need to know right away. It must be clear to all that I have no trace of a sideburn. Got it?”
This is quite the Saved by the Bell look. It looks like he rolled right out of the graduating class of Soviet Breaker High and into an unbuttoned shirt with a model who’s flashing a lot of gold. With this 90’s suburban surfer shag, Yash had plenty of luck off of the ice and maybe we should reconsider his spot on this list. Although it’s terrible, it worked for him and inspired some knockoffs like…
“Hey barber, give me what Yashin has with a tad more volume and lift.”
This is what happens when you try to give yourself the Yashin without the use of a mirror.
Ray Emery’s Platinum Blonde Dye Job
Has anyone noticed this list is saturated with players who have experimented with bleached hair? I couldn’t find any photos of it, but Ray Emery was the latest to jump the shark. Not by choice though. It was actually management who had the savvy to tell him that his hair wasn’t a good idea.
Instead of Sly, his nickname could have been Slay. Had he not relied upon a recipe of one part mullet and one part axle grease, he would have been conquering women all across the National Capital Region.
Yeah, okay. This one is a bit of a stretch considering the role and service time that he had with the Senators. And yes, I’m well aware that this is a photo of Bicanek was taken almost ten years after his tenure with Ottawa. But c’mon. Look at him. He looks like a strange Norwegian death metal fan who has been living in the woods for the past 18 months. I don’t know what’s more unsettling, his wispy peach fuzz beard or his face being completely devoid of eyebrows. It looks like someone is overcompensating.
Before there was John Stevenson, there was Alexei Kaigorodov.
Brian McGrattan / Peter Schaefer
Taking cues from Brett Boone, A-Rod and the dude from Whitesnake (David Coverdale) Peter ‘Best on the Boards’ Schaefer and Brian ‘Enjoying it While it Lasts’ Mcgratton look about 20 years too old to be wearing their hair like a bunch of pre teens who got into thier mothers hydrogen peroxide.
Who says that unibrows are exclusive to female, Belarussian weight lifters?
Dave Archibald was one of those guys who chose a profession and vehicle to complement his hair. Alexei Kovalev could learn a thing from Archibald. While a decent skater, Archibald’s flowing locks acted like an optical illusion and made it look like he was working harder and skating faster than he actually was.
That cut should have been called the ‘uh-oh’. Every kid who goes to prom, that’s his nightmare.
Like many of his boneheaded turnovers, Corvo wasn’t thinking clearly when he thought that this style would make a good first impression. At no point should male pattern baldness ever have attention drawn to it by bleached blonde frosted tips. Someone should have written his hair out of town. Ironically, his haircut wasn’t the worst decision that he ever made. Check out those tattoos!
At least Scott Hartnell has the talent to back up hair like this.
Kerry Fraser, Kerry Huffman. What the hell is with guys named Kerry and their hair?
My favorite part of the above photo isn’t necessarily Huffman’s hair, it’s the right up beside his picture. Off the ice, he is soft-spoken and well-liked. I guess there was a word count that the card company was obligated to fulfill. A more accurate description would have been, Huffman spends most of his time off the ice blowdrying his hair. (Ed. note: I wonder how much due diligence was done to determine his character traits? It makes me wonder if Eric Lindros’ card featured the phrase, Off the ice, Eric lacks the skills to think critically. In Quebec City, he’s regarded as a self-absorbed douchebag.
While this photo was taken from Meszaros’ draft season, this is proof that not even chemical enhancement could save Meszaros’ infamous curly mullet from looking like wet pubes.
It’s really too bad that Mike Peluso was only with the Senators organization for the inaugural season. More people should know about the levels of awesomeness that Peluso brought to the rink. Even though he served 318 PIM, he still found a way to score 15 goals. Had he played in the era of the interwebs, he would be more than just a minor footnote in Senators history.
The Stages of Alfredsson’s Hair
*** I know I’ve probably forgotten a player or two, so if you have any additions/comments for the list, leave them below.