The Sunday Soapbox: Seriously, What The Hell Is Wrong With You People?

I hold several personal truths to be self evident and from which I absolutely refuse to be swayed.  To wit: I believe that anyone who knowingly disrupts rush hour traffic by parking on a busy street outside the posted hours because “I’ll just be a few minutes” or makes a left hand turn regardless of the twenty seven signs telling them left turns are not permitted should be fined to the point of insolvency, tarred and feathered.  Then summarily executed.  I believe that Pink Floyd’s The Wall is a load of pretentious twaddle foisted upon an unsuspecting world by a self absorbed narcissist with crippling mommy issues.  I believe bacon is the most noble calling to which a pig can ever aspire. 

Above all, and much to Beloved’s embarrassment,  I am of the firm belief that stupid people should have their stupidity pointed out to them, and wherever possible, mocked without mercy.  Walk into a lamp post because you had your head buried in your iPad?  I will point and laugh and laugh and laugh.  Drive 20km/hr under the posted speed limit because seven snow flakes have obviously turned you into a nervous 98 year-old woman thus rendering you incapable of operating a motor vehicle?  You better believe I’m blowing past you at the earliest opportunity, horn in full blare.  If you can’t drive in it, stay the fuck home.  Does this make me a jerk?  Absolutely.  But if that’s the price I have to pay to expose the irredeemably idiotic to the error of their ways, then it’s one I will gladly bear.  In the end, we’ll all be better off for it.

Which brings me, naturally, to the Fisher trade.  Or more to the point, the mouth breathing trogs still baying for The Bryan’s head in light of the Fisher trade.

You know.  The Stupid People.


Stupid People Argument #1:
The trade to the Predators was too convenient to be a simple coincidence, so obviously Murray should be fired.

Of course it wasn’t a coincidence.  While obviously not privy to any other offers The Bryan may have had in front of him, I think it’s safe to assume that he was trying to not only get a good deal for the club, but also do a solid for a guy that has done so much for the organization.  And what the hell is wrong with that?  Beyond the immediate return (which was still pretty awesome, by the way) isn’t it obvious that the club will be better served down the road if it enjoys a reputation among, say future free agents, for doing a little more than treating players as interchangeable slabs of meat?  If you answered “no” to that question, then you need to pull your head out of your ass.  Or maybe go hang out in the Sun’s comment section for a while.

Stupid People Argument #2: HAH!  You just admitted that he may not have gotten the best deal he could!  Obviously Murray should be fired.

To recap in a coldly analytical way (forgive me Mike), Bryan Murray managed to get, at the very least, a first round draft pick for a 30 year old third line centre, himself a mid second rounder, while creating $8.4 million in extra cap space over the next two years.  From the standpoint of a rebuilding Sens team, that wasn’t just a good deal.  That was a fucking magic trick.

Stupid People Argument #3: Murray took a Stanley Cup Finals caliber team and drove it into the purgatory of Lottery Ville, so obviously he should be fired.

Of all of the ill informed vitriol surrounding Bryan Murray (and there’s lots of it), this one drives me nuts most of all.  Wait, scratch that for being an understatement.  It drives me fucking insane.  We had our shot and failed.  John Muckler literally sold the farm for that shot, and failed.  Now we’re paying the mortgage.  It’s that simple.  Hell, if you want to get all pissy about not winning anything, don’t get pissy at the 2007 team that got pwned by the Ducks.  Hell no.  Save that for the 2003 Senators, the most talented team this town has ever seen.  Whether Sens fans want to admit it or not, the seeds of where we are today were sown the very second Jeff Friesen’s wrister from the left hash mark beat Patrick Lalime’s ridiculously slow glove hand.  It was that goal that convinced Muckler that we were but a tweak or two away from winning it all, which in turn led directly to the rape and pillage of the farm team over the next four years in pursuit of that tweak (I defy any self respecting Sens’  fan to utter the words “Brooks Laich” without weeping).  Which leads me to…

Stupid People Argument #4: Bryan Murray cannot be trusted with the rebuild and thus I will not buy a jersey/attend a game/renew my season tickets if he is still in charge by some arbitrary date I pulled out of my ass (a.k.a.: the Jeffery Simpson Manifesto).

While not exactly helpful, that’s certainly your right sport.  But know this. This too shall pass.  And when the young ‘uns and hot shots now currently in the system (all of whom were drafted and brought in by Bryan Murray, the very man you want fired it should be noted) finally come together with the even younger hotshots that will inevitably come out of our three to four year exile to the land of suck and produce a legitimate Cup contender, I won’t forget how you abandoned us because it got too hard.  I won’t forget how your impatience borne of ignorance led you to turn your back on the team.

And five years from now, when Captain Jason Spezza is holding the Cup over his head I will find each and every one of you and point and laugh and hold you to account for the front running Stupid People you are.

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